Within the depths of sleep depravity.

Its 1 in the morning and i cant sleep. Why? Had a fairly active day, not got much on my mind and i went for a run earlier. Its weird that isnt it? Its funny how for no reason you struggle to get to sleep. Just unbeknownst to anyone, lying awake in the shadows of your bed. Just lying there thinking, perhaps counting sheep. Perhaps contemplating past choices, decisions, or the fact you feel like you need a wee, but could it wait until you wake up again? For many people the atmosphere has to be just right. You have to be tired enough, go to bed at the normal time and not be to hot or to cold etc. I dont know what my problem is, just not particularly tired. Any way, i think ill go for that wee now.


Its a sunday…

Many things can be taken for granted. Loved ones, material things, and moments. Ever stood on top of a hill and looked down at the countryside and just taken in that moment? Realising beneath you, thousands of people go about their business with no means of knowing that you are up there. Does it matter though. You achieved. No matter how high the hill you reached the top of it. Your allowed to take in the natural beauty of it all. I kinda dislike the people at every social gathering when ever anything happens they have to take a picture and post it on social media. By no means am i exempt for i was and have done this. They click and they post, for likes from friends and randomers. To perceive to the world that this is what their life is like all the time and to pretend that their life is perfect all the time. We all know we do it we all know we are aware of it. But why do we continue? Whats the need the train of thought? Perhaps the fear of being forgotten and losing ‘friends’. We should just live in the moment and be thankful we have these moments to even start with…

Societies Legacy

How do we know what is wrong and what is right. Our parents? Teachers? Peers? Public leaders? During the developmental age growing up we develop a moral compass and ethics and morals are bestowed upon us. These generally come from who we are most close to and interact with the most at this age. This is what we get told. Additionally there are environmental factors as well. Where it be from a school environment, hanging around with friends or stuff that we see and that is impressed on us from the media.

I do believe firmly in the above, but id also like to believe that we  all have that moral compass inside of us and that we would know what was right and wrong without much guidance growing up. We see what consequences our actions bring every day on resulting people/things whether they be positive or negative. For example making a cup of tea for not just yourself but someone else at work can brighten their day. They would be more likely to do the same for you in return. Sharing your favourite toy as a kid with another instead of keeping it to yourself, allows another being to share in that enjoyment that you do.

Touching upon a point earlier that was made about being respectful to your elders. That influences me even today. When i used public transport i always would try and put myself at the back of the queue to allow the older generation in front. One because i had been told to respect my elders, and i had seen other people do it. I didnt have to, but i felt obliged to and that it was the right thing to do. In my head when i think about this, i understand why we get told this. An older person generally has much more life experience than you, has dealt with more issues than you, has come out the other side and probably would of suffered some sort of loss. More life experience deals to more wisdom and our older generation should be respectfully used for the advice, life lessons and experience that they have gone through. Its a sign of respect. In another blog post i will discuss this in more detail about an event that happened to me. The example is this. Earlier this year i met someone and fell in love. Instantly there was a connection, however 3 months later found them cheating on me behind my back. The fact that even when he was confronted he lied, but more of that, another time. I withdrew into myself to the point where everything else that was going on at the time made me bestow myself into a self inflicted depression, which spiralled and spiralled until i got to where i am today.

The meaning of this story was that i went through what hundreds of millions of people have been through, and us as the society that we are will continue to go through at times, indefinitely. However, instead of withdrawing into myself and shutting myself off from everyone i could of talked to my parents, who had been through a similar experience. My best friends who are a few years older could of been relied upon for help and support. This is just one example others would include, getting a house for a first time, finance, holidays, and generally how to make ends meet. (All of these i have personally talked to my elders i.e parents and older friends about). Our older generation have a wealth of experience that i feel a lot of my generation oversee’s and adopts the ‘i know better’ attitude with a complete disregard for elders.

Another point i believe that was impressed upon me from a young age, was learning the consequences of war and the affects of natural disasters. Ill never forget the 2004 boxing day tsunami on the news. i can hear my mothers voice now saying ‘you have no idea how lucky you are’. Its a point i think is quite valid to alot of people of today. Until we actually experience some sort of conflict or get caught up in a humanitarian disaster will we ever truly know what its like?

Particularly poignant would be this time of year where we remember the millions of people that have died in armed conflict around the world. In particular those of the first world war, and its 100 years since armistice. Those brave men and women that have fought for the right of our country to be as it is, and governed how it is deserve our utmost respect. They gave the ultimate sacrifice and as a result so many families were torn apart. Mothers lost sons, sisters lost brothers, boys lost fathers. We should never forget also the brave woman that serve as well in the military, and how far we as a society have come in terms of equal rights, but also how far we have to go, and should go. We as a society are so lucky, and should be very thankful

We’ve also come a long way in terms of recognising same sex marriage as equal to a ‘straight’marriage. At the end of the day love is love, what does it matter that a man loves a man or a woman loves a woman? Were all the same underneath, no matter what we have in life and who we choose to spend it with, we all end up in the same box. Society still has alot of mixed opinions about these issues. There are still countries around the world were same sex is illegal and carries serious consequences. Why do we as a human race have to be so judgemental? Being part of this minority group encompassing the LGBTQ society i feel incredibly lucky that i live in a country that if i wanted to, i could hold my partners hand walking down the street, and for me not to pay the price for it. People shouldn’t be labelled or judged for their sexuality, rather for who they are as an individual.

I guess in conclusion, i feel that some of my generation need to make more of an effort to encompass those morals and values that i know we all have. It doesnt matter what your skin colour is, what your sexuality is, whether your rich, poor, or disabled, everyone deserves to live their life in a safe way. In a way where they are without prejudice or discrimination, where we are all kind and humble to eachother, and in a world where everyone can be given a chance to succeed.


Well i guess here we are…

Well you guessed it. First post here it be. I mean what are you really meant to write in these when you have no idea what you want to write, or rather ‘type’ about??? The weather is sunny but the wind is bitter? How awfully british of me.

Forgive the unmistaken non-clarity that this blog will take. Rather like an unfamiliar roller coaster, this is what this journey will be. I have no clear path, it will be full of twists and turns, but hopefully it wont come to a stop. Id rather like to say im in a famous coffee shop sipping on a named cup with my double soy milk latte with a smattering of nutmeg dust encased in a cardboard cup, for such reasons i need to dash and ‘takeaway’. However the reality is im not. Stuck on a sunday afternoon with not much to do after my duties of my career, i decided to start a blog with a proper cuppa.

This year has been rather testing. Rather brutal. Physically, im in better shape than i ever have been before, but emotionally taken a battering. This year started with change of place for work. One that i did not become accustomed to or enjoy. Second was meeting a certain someone who i fell in love with and they subsequently cheated. Additionally the change in career for me not being happy in the position i was in and the following changes to that. Problems arose with my family, but sometimes realising that you can deal with your own issues, safeguards your own feelings.

But, however not all doom and gloom. Out of this sudden murkiness of no certainty, not knowing if i was coming or going, being seen or noticed i met my partner of today. Now its been 6 months, ive changed my career and my heart has been mended. Good things come to those who wait.

So anyway, where were we? The random ups and downs, the random future twists and turns of this blog? Yes. Expect that. For even i know not whats going on.

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